Conflict Communications teaches you how to prevent most
conflicts -- and manage the few that still occur -- by teaching you
how not to fall into primitive conflict scripts.
Behaviors that both cause conflict to occur and to escalate.
How do we do this?
Here's the short version. Humans are social primates. For
millions of years our species has survived by banding together
in groups. Long term survival of the group
is what allowed the individual to survive, thrive and reproduce.
We are wired to function within the group dynamic.
Anytime you have people living and working together there
will be conflict.
Unchecked, conflict can destroy the group. That is why
nature has also given us scripted behavioral patterns that allow
for conflict to occur without destroying the group. In
fact, these default 'scripts' are more about strengthening the
group dynamic than for the benefit of the individual.
While it might seem like we're fighting for ourselves, when
you look deeper you'll see how these scripts play into the
group dynamic. Most of what
we're fighting for is our social status in the group and how
others are to treat us. That's social dynamics.
Before we can control our reactions, we must know nature has designed us to react to 'danger signals' faster than conscious thought.
new factor. When we are stressed, emotional and in conflict, other parts of our brains become active. With the emotional
parts of the brain firing and chemical baths occurring, not
only do we think and perceive differently, but we act
differently too. We refer to the collective as the 'Monkey
Brain.' When we get sucked into our monkey brain, our default
behavior is to follow those primitive conflict scripts. We call this the
And it all happens faster than
emotionally triggered, we tend to
fall into the monkey brain
and start fighting for monkey goals (e.g. social status,
emotional protection, defending our territory). These become
more important than fixing the problem that created the
conflict. We fight for these new goals by following scripts.
Worse, emotions are contagious. That means, the more
emotional someone else is the more likely we are to be triggered
ourselves. It's a two way street. Our monkey brain non-verbal
signals and behaviors trigger the other person's monkey brain.
Their monkey dance behavior triggers ours.
And so it escalates.
Conflict Communications teaches you
about these conflict scripts and how to
recognize when someone
is caught up in the emotional monkey brain. We teach you what
triggers them and how you can minimize conflict by not
unwittingly triggering a conflict script.
You can manage conflict by preventing the escalation of these
If nations desire peace, they
should avoid the pin-pricks that precede cannon-shot
More than that, we teach you how to keep yourself from
getting sucked into the monkey trap -- especially when someone
is angry, in your face and within arm's reach. Conditions that
will set your
monkey brain screaming up a tree.
Instead of it being about 'winning,' you can focus on
the problem. By knowing the process you can avoid doing the
monkey dance and escalating the situation. But the first person
you need to de-escalate
Does this training work? The Conflict
Communication program was originally developed for
correctional officers to deal with
emotionally disturbed and potentially dangerous people. But
since conflict is universal, people in
other fields can use it too. Both at work and at home.
This training isn't just put in such a way so the average
person can understand it, it's designed so you can go out and
start using it the next day. As the head of psychology
department for the Rhineland Police Academy told one of the
creators of this system, "This is wonderful, it's based on
psychology and science, but it's phrased so everyone can
This is why we say Conflict Communication
training will help you prevent, manage, de-escalate and resolve
conflict. You and your staff can take
this information and start effectively applying it immediately.