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Conflict Communications
History and Development
Conflict Communications was born when one of the founders
went to Germany to teach 'street level' de-escalation to police.
The day before the lectures Marc MacYoung met with the head of the
hosting agency. He was informed there would be federal agents,
SWAT, riot squad, state police, city police, parking
enforcement, code enforcement, dog catchers, trainers,
psychiatrists and social workers ... all in the same
audience. This posed a slight problem. Basically the goals,
operating conditions and training of these groups are
wildly different. The problem was the original program was
designed for patrol officers who might have to go hands on with
an unruly suspect. The lecture assumed a certain mindset,
training and experience level. A foundation that was not
shared or implicitly understood by the others. Marc was in deep
trouble. He had one program; what was needed was something that
worked for everyone else.
The individual who had overseen getting the Marc to
Germany has a degree in psychology and had himself given a
de-escalation seminar to the same group. He had complained,
however, that it hadn't gone over very well. He asked Marc to
look over the program and see what was missing. What Marc found
was a technically good system for talking a person down. Yet, by
the designer's own admission, it had failed.
Facing his own dilemma, but looking at another system, Marc
casually observed, "This is a really good program but it assumes
the person trying to use it isn't freaking out and afraid of being
attacked. If you're not calm, it's not going to work."
When he said that, it came to him.
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The difference
between theory and practice is, in theory, there is no
difference... |
Jetlag can be a useful thing when one needs to stay up all
night and rework a de-escalation program. What was presented the
next morning -- and the day after that -- was a raw program on how
to stay calm when someone is howling, barking and drooling in your
face.
And most important, how to stay calm when there's a good
chance of you being physically attacked.
The lectures were
a roaring success. This is what the
people in the field wanted to know. Other programs told
them to stay calm, this one showed them how. This wasn't
an academic program, it worked for people who would bleed if
de-escalation failed. This information was something they could
use.
For example,
something people needed to know was how to tell the difference between
someone who is just yelling and screaming (threat display) and
someone who is going to attack (pre-attack indicators). Knowing the difference, one's stress level
drops dramatically and you can calmly start applying
previous de-escalation training. One can also tell when
de-escalation is not working.
This is a knowable
and teachable skill. But it is not a talent common among those
who have not been within arms reach of danger. Not only is such
information missing from other programs, but the need for it
isn't understood either.
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A quarrel is quickly
settled when deserted by one party; there is no battle unless there
are two
-- Seneca |
Upon his return to the States,
Marc contacted his writing partner Rory Miller
about this inherent weakness in training. Rory's response was:
That book we're writing, forget it. We're writing this one.
That was how Conflict
Communications was born. Over the last two years Miller and
MacYoung have combined their knowledge from decades of live-fire
experience and on the spot de-escalation of thousands of
conflict and violent episodes. They have poured into developing this program
their understanding of the dynamics that lead to violence and
how to control them. The
program has been POST certified in Minnesota and is now
spreading across the US and returning overseas.
Originally the program was
designed specifically for law enforcement application. But during test
marketing officers told us how
helpful the program was to them in explaining issues they were
having with their spouses, bosses, children and co-workers.
It was then we realized we had stumbled across the 'Rosetta
Stone of conflict.'
By revealing the core elements
and
underlying motivations of conflict, we helped people see
past the differences and work for conflict resolution through
the similarities. These underlying issues are literally the 500
pound gorilla in the room. Not only are they what the fight is
actually about, but until they are addressed the issue will crop
up again and again. That whether it is through the same argument
over and over or the same fight disguised as a different matter.
As this program has progressed it
has expanded to meet the needs of many
fields and situations.
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If war is the violent resolution of
conflict, then peace is not the absence of conflict, but rather, the
ability to resolve conflict without violence.
– C.T. Lawrence Butler |
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